I have been doing some Spirit writing from some of the journeys in and out of class (Healing Through Sacred Sound and Song, A LightSong Course Taught by Dr. Lauri Shainsky), as they relate to what I am moving through personally. I guess this class is opening the door to my own personal healing and that will hopefully open doors to healing within my ancestral lines, especially with my daughter. I know this is also the door for bigger work down the road.
The Song–To the Depths of Emptiness
I was taken to a cave, to the void where there was nothing but darkness. I am a visual journeyer so this was frustrating as I kept wanting to be shown something. I felt like I was just led to nowhere. I couldn’t even tell if I was still on the journey. So I just lied there, and asked: So now what? Is this it? They said yes. They said stop looking and listen. I did and heard nothing. I was actually pissed off. I asked again, is this it? They said yes. Then, after awhile they said “This is the place sound is born”. Then we were called back. It felt so frustrating. It wasn’t the same place of quietness and solitude that I have been where you feel expansive and blissful. This place was empty to its core! It had no feeling, no sound, no light, no sense, no space. I am still sitting with it. It was actually a little scary to think about. Like I never acknowledged that there could be such a place. It reminds me of an agnostic death, where when you die, that’s it.
On another journey I was taken to a tree-top overlooking an expansive horizon. As I sat there I was told that every thing in the Universe has a sound. Every Thing – not just being. To hear this you must go to the place where sound is born. Being completely hollow and open you can then hear or even see the sound!
Upon returning to the cave I was given many insights and tools. She asked me what the common thread was in all successful healing forms. I said “Intention”. Correct. She reminded me about the time when she first appeared to me at my ordination in the lodge ceremony where she rose from the glowing Grandmothers and came and looked at me nose to beak before merging with me. There was another element, another Spirit that I was taken to last night in a journey. I was taken to her after going through the fire merged. I was taken to the one who sings the song of The Universe.
Every thing in the Universe has a sound. Even pain. Even shadows. Even wounds. These want to be heard also. They have a song to sing, the song of their grief. Remember Kwan Yin, she who hears the cries of the world? She listens to their song. From the empty place I hear them. I listen to them. And I sing, with her, with them, a song of compassion and love in return. It is a sacred dialogue.
What does this all mean in my human life? How does this apply to the challenges I currently face? Is there a connection with my introvertedness, numbness, fear of strong emotion and some hidden fear of looking? What will I see in the darkness? What will I see if I look? Haven’t I looked before many times? What am I missing? How do I heal this body memory?
I have realized that my need for personal connection and space on a daily basis is vital. When I reach this still point, this dwelling of nothingness and silence, then I can quiet my mind enough to be present even for a moment. Why?
Because my body remembers fear and hostility, and when I live from my deeper, inner space I am living from my Spirit more than my body. When I neglect this practice, my body memories veil and even imprison my inner Spirit. My body is only doing what it feels is right and necessary. But I am in a safe place now.
Where in my body do I hear this?
The still voice says:
I can lose my human self into the clutches of anxiety and despair and chaos. The real world fades. Into the internal pool my faerychild dives, scared to show her face above the water. She is scared because her earthly home has witnessed too much despair. The pool is murky and deep. To find the surface she must seek the light from within to illumine the outer fears. But to find this unique light she must first close her eyes and ears and body. Go the place where sound is born and you will find the light you seek.
I must return the stories that reside in my body to the Universe. Releasing the power which dwells in their hearts and returning them to their elemental form so they may be born again to me in a new way. Reclaim this power, this human form, this body that deserves to be whole and free.
Remember this: the stories must be heard before they go. Not the stories themselves, but rather their song. In the silence I can hear them and she will sing them home through me.
Written by Heather White
For more about LightSong, go to www.lightsong.net
For more about Shamanic Sound Healing, go to www.hiddenlakeretreat.org/shamanism.htm