Walking and Dancing with the ego

Walking and Dancing with the ego

I had an interesting experience this summer that sent me on a new belief system trajectory about the ego. The final outcome of learning from the spirits is that the teachings I have received about working with the ego in healing have shifted. It’s a dance, not a war.

I was supporting a very big ceremony (Vision Quest) with my brother. We were supporters in camp. We are brother and sister in song, part of an extended traditional family. We sing sacred songs together. There is a rule pertinent to another ceremony that is gender-based. We did not know it was in play at this ceremony. My desire to sing and support was strong, but was in a way that I did not know violated this rule. Ego-based, as all desires are, I “broke the rule” anyway. Shortly after this “transgression”, the reprimand came from the family elders. It was a big, upsetting deal to all of us. Tears and apologies followed.

Later in the week when the questers came down from the hill and were in lodge; one of them spoke their story. Great help and healing had come through the singing we did (during our rule-breaking session). Much power was felt and experienced through this singing, and the medicine that went up to the hill was exactly what was needed by that person, who had been suffering. It all made sense to me as I listened to this dear one tell their story.

What the spirits showed/told me about this is that the ego is an important ingredient to life as humans on earth. It has kept us alive and in constant inquiry –that is where many life- or conscious-saving questions arise. Perhaps more importantly and newly illuminated was how the ego moves us around in time and space to make us available to help with healing. Our egoic structures reinforce motivations that make us move around in time and space socially, and put us in places where we can do work. Yes, we move to the beat of our heart, too. And, the ego is often involved in the assessment and choices we make.

They (the spirits) also showed me in a more clear way than what I had previously conceptualized, is that the desire to “do away with ego” or quell the ego is almost akin to saying that we do not wish to fulfill the contract we made to be spirits in human form. Being human means having an ego that helps us navigate through the physical and social world. Saying we deny this ingredient to our humanity is like saying we might as well be pure spirit, which is not what we agreed to when we incarnated.

Healing and bringing pure information and divine power into ordinary reality DOES require that the ego not be projecting itself into this stream of light when we are being conduits of this light. This takes years of training and initiations in a process I call “personality purification”, so there are few intrusions of personal stuff in the hollow bone as power moves through us. It is a beautiful dance, of honoring all of who we are, and asking that the ego steps to the side in the process of bringing forth that divinity. To deny any of our humanity can cause soul loss, incrementally…another topic for later.

As time progresses, the ego in its original form has become somewhat imbalanced in its control over our lives, emotions. So we invite it to be just one of many elements in our walk. Bow and ask our heart to lead the best it can, while honoring all parts of the dance.


One response to “Walking and Dancing with the ego

  1. Even though I’m not keen on duality- because I think things are more complex and more simplistic than duality….I do think of ego in both a positive and negative light. We need ego to define ourselves for ourselves, to help ourselves survive on all levels, and to express through our likes our greatest being….however, where ego defines the negative, the other, the difference…one may devalue other, to create chaos and darkness through the emergence and subsequent expression of fear. Like ego, desire seems to get a bad rap….but again, what is it’s base? Love, or Fear? What of intent vs rules?
    In the case of your experience, If the rules were unbeknownst, and yet the intent is for the greatest good, the necessary healing took place….were you truly in the wrong? No. (imho) There is one thing that has to do with honoring the ways of those whom are in charge, and there is another thing that has to do with maybe that rule needs to be shifted….and isn’t necessarily the best way, just because it is tradition. So, in some senses, is it not truly between you and Spirit(s), rather than whether you were right or wrong in your “mistake”? Is it not possible, that rather than your choice coming from a negative place of either conceit or fear, that it came from the true desire to create the healing space – a pure heart. Then whom is to truly deem it right or wrong?
    Desire is a wonderful driving force, which can work to shift consciousness, mind, body, spirit….it can move towards the execution of a goal. It can be that which drives one to water the seeds that the plants may grow – as not all plants are outdoors…..desire seems to take on negative connotation, when it comes to control and power over, rather than power with. So, if one’s ego and desire are based in Love, and working with Creator, et al….towards shift of situation, acquisition of a goal or thing, in a non-harmful manner, for the greatest good, with consideration of and yet non-attachment to the outcome(this isn’t to say acquisition is bad or not to be strived for) – whom is to judge, but Creator?
    Ego and desire seem to go hand in hand – ego looking at what’s in it for me, and desire asking what do I need to do to get there? Perhaps, what’s “in it for me” is a satisfaction of giving my/our/the best possible condition for another’s benefit. Perhaps, what’s “in it for me” is a knowing and understanding that the journey of learning and working was well worth it, or that something else needs to be shifted. Perhaps, what’s “in it for me” – is the remembrance, that it is is not about me, but we…about the participation in life, and how each decision affects more than self….do we choose to live by the rules or by guidelines? Are decisions made that bring happiness and joy necessarily “wrong” because the rules weren’t followed. Of the greatest achievers in human kind, Did they choose to follow rules or guidelines? Are the decisions made are solely based in pleasing others, self, both, or neither? As long as one isn’t consciously bringing harm to self, or another…..Does it matter?

    ….and of the walk/dance…..are we not called to do so in balance? Does not balance include wading through the river of emotion? Of releasing, and allowing, of reaching toward, and surrender, of just being or paddling like hell, of creating shift, understanding and forgiving…..

    Perhaps it isn’t that we are meant to be perfect martyrs engaged in only altruistic expression, but that we are to participate as our authentic selves – in which the truth lies in the perfection of imperfection, in the breaking down and remolding of our lives in each moment as we express our illusion in soul- full-fillment.

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